In her new book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." It's that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.
I feel so grateful that this amazing woman was able to help people by leading the way, allowing them to expose themselves so that may not only grow stronger, but to feel a sense of transparency and authenticity that is truly next to none.
The reason I am bringing this to the table today is this morning I choose to be brave and discuss some things that have been upsetting me recently.
I have to say I was full of fear, doubt, and insecurity when I took the big step of asking my husband when it would be a good time to speak to him.
I requested the time to speak for 5 minutes without him wanting to ‘fix’ me so I could freely talk about the things on my mind.
We have been together now for 46 years and have learned through challenging times that the only way to truly be heard is to be transparent, respectful and authentic.
For many years I wanted my husband to sort things out but now I am able to work through things with him in such a healthy, mature and loving way.
It was a painful experience as I needed to own areas of resentment and envy I have in some areas of my life.
By not playing the ‘blame game’ I looked at my part and owned them as well as requesting my needs.
It was such a gift that after many years I am at long last able to truly be myself, I have learned to love and respect myself even when I am not at my best.
Many of my client say they can speak to me in a way they feel they can not with their nearest and dearest.
My request to you all today is to break out of the box and start to practice being vulnerable, it really is a gift that you can share.
I have noticed it not only allows others to do the same but enables us not to be engulfed with fears, resentments and judgements of ourselves and others.
My husband was so kind and loving and really heard me, I believe our relationship is the evidence of longevity, hard work, and the gift of allowing ourselves to just be vulnerable.
Life can be often hard for all of us so practicing being vulnerable can truly enrich any relationship.
Honesty and openness delivered in a loving kind way is such a healer and as I always say, nothing grows in the comfort zone, so make today a day you do something different and allow yourself to receive the gift of just being human.
Unlocking confidence through self-care
Wow is there really life beyond rushing from one activity to another? I am on an amazing course that is imprinting a NEW way of being in a really profound way!
It’s a course all about ‘positive intelligence’ and how we can create a happier, healthier, calmer, more productive life.
I have always believed that the key to a happier calmer more fulfilled life is directly connected to slowing down and not multitasking, at last there is evidenced based research to support my personal beliefs.
Ironically I always believed in slowing down but sadly I could not actually seem to practice it.
What I love about the course is it teaches me to slow down and become more present in a really ‘doable’ way.
So what is the real secret and what are the benefits? well we all know when we do things in a less rushed way we get better results, are much more focused and more fully present in our work and at home.
Not only do our partners and family benefit ,our lives some how seems more enjoyable.
How can we all then gain the amazing benefits that include a more relaxed nervous system, a healthy mental and physical state and ultimately a longer ,happier ,healthier life?
Believe it or not it’s actually quiet simple but the key is self discipline and consistency.
Every day we need to take just a few minutes every few hours to stop, breathe and become fully focussed and present. At first it takes effort but what I have noticed is it feels so good I want to do it even more regularly. Even 3 large breaths can bring amazing results in calming us down and helping us to become more present.
Of course we all have a choice and saying ‘I don’t have time’ is just a lie we say to ourselves. I say to all my clients nothing grows in the comfort zone, if you want improvement you have to make changes and they are not always easy.
I really believe this is life changing and if you practice this regularly you will never want to visit that rushed place again.
Happy Easter Monday everyone! I wanted to focus on moderation this springtime.
Most of us experience an abundance of food, chocolate and Easter products that are available at this time of year and often overindulge.
People can then feel guilty, resentful, and even angry, blaming themselves for eating too much or not having healthy boundaries.
You will be pleased to know I am not here to berate you just share experience of how it could be different.
For some people it really is an addiction, overeating (as it was for me) and there are many recovery programs that can help arrest addiction.
Food addicts in recovery anonymous and over eaters anonymous are 2 that spring to mind.
I don’t think its work just telling people how to change the real work is done with the why we do it in the first place. One we address that issue we are more likely to want to make changes. So why bother? well there really are amazing health benefits.
Research consistently shows that moderation in diet leads to better health outcomes compared to extremes.
Extreme behaviours, whether it's extreme dieting, overeating, excessive exercise, or overworking, often lead to burnout and are unsustainable in the long run. Moderation promotes consistency and helps maintain healthy habits over time.
Overall, evidence from multiple disciplines suggests that moderation in all areas is a sensible approach for promoting overall well-being and longevity. It allows individuals to enjoy life while maintaining balance and minimizing risks associated with extremes.
So how can you change? I guess you have to ask a few questions first.
Why are you doing it in the first place?
Do you want to moderate?
Why you want to?
What’s stopping you?
How can you?
What’s the first action?
The war years where the healthiest in the Uk due to the list below, but as we all know people were often powerless over the situation and had limited control.
These areas below made the war years so healthy even amidst the stress that many people suffered.
1. There was a reduction in Smoking
2. An increase in community Support and Solidarity
3. An increase in Physical Activity
4. Focused on Essential Needs
5. People had stronger Social Networks
Today we have more control and choices, so the bottom line is to become more self-regulating and self-accountable which is where it can be challenging. Finding out the root cause of overindulgence can be a lengthy process but often its a deep seated need some level of gratification, what can be called as the ‘not enough syndrome’ which many people suffer from in various areas of their lives.
Embracing moderation in all areas of life really is empowering, but the quick fix needs to be addressed and worked on first.
I have never written a Blog during a literal storm, it’s so windy outside and I have just heard a massive crash and bang coming from my roof.
I notice a huge dump of adrenalin and my anxiety levels are surging.
My husband is about to explore what’s going on and I need to write my Blog as there is nothing else I can do right now.
What I notice is my response to anxiety is the same whatever the situation.
So what can I do to help myself manage the anxiety and help myself navigate through this?
Firstly, I just STOPED took a few breaths, and acknowledged my feelings, then I had to accept the situation, ( I may not like it but I have to accept it’s there) finally action, what can I do about it?
The reality is we are not robots, and it’s not easy to apply the above. Each phase takes time to process so don’t rush.
What helps me is to break things down into small, tiny chunks, as we know the reality is if we do nothing, nothing changes.
Interestingly enough it’s often a lack of acceptance with ourselves that can be the hardest.
The reality for me is I do get worried, and I do get anxious, so I want to practice self-compassion and learn to accept that’s just who I am, it does not mean I am a victim of my own emotions or I have no strategy to help myself.
Many of my clients are hard on themselves and experience similar self-judgment issues, expressing how I feel and working through my emotions coupled with actions seems the best way.
I believe self-awareness and self-compassion will help us all manage life on life’s terms.
So today I will keep it short and sweet, I honestly do not know what to write sometimes but I do know I do my best and then leave the rest!